A Love Letter!!

He had asked her to write down why she had fallen in love with him.Below is the reply.

It could be anyone to anyone, that's not important. 

My dearest darling,

"Why do I love you?"

The most simplistic answer would be that I love you because you love me so much. 

Actually I have never received so much love ever. No one was so besotted ever by me. I never really knew that I could fascinate someone so much. 

You were always the enigmatic one for me, on the side lines, looking on but looking away whenever I turned to you. Never realized you were looking out for me. Protecting me, shielding me and thinking the best for me. It has come as a big realization. I always thought , "Why is he so aloof to me?" I Believed that probably you didn’t like me because I was not that ultra feminine, girly types! Not the quintessential pretty girl! NOT YOUR TYPE!!!!

On the other hand I knew you had something for me. As you now know I also vividly remember the day you held my hand in class, why I didn’t resist was because the touch was electric and I wanted it to go on! You didn’t want to hurt me, didn’t want to let go and didn’t want to lose, and you did manage all three! I think that was the day I fell in love with you because after that whatever you said was the last word! Also that was the day I stopped competing with you.

I used to fantasise that one day you’ll hold me in your arms and put your hands in my hair, hug me tight and pull my hair, bend me down and kiss me hard. lived through 10th and 11th with that! Read it somewhere in an m&B . That reminds me! whenever I read those you were my hero there. But when you left without a word,I thought maybe I was mistaken and should move on(the biggest blunder of my life) and I did.

Now when I look back I realize that although I gave all my relationships my heart and soul, but a piece of my heart was never there, it went along with you. That is why now when I found it after so many years, my heart started to beat wildly again. Believe me in the spectrum of life’s emotions this is something I never experienced. I NEVER REALLY KNEW I WAS SO MUCH WORTH LOVING, SO DESIRABLE ! Probably that is one reason why school is so vivid in my memories.

And now—why I love you now? Because you’ve taught me to love myself, you are helping me find the girl I was along with the woman that I have become. Never in my life have I found someone loving me so selflessly maybe except for my mother. The love in literature that I always thought was bookish is now before me in such realistic manner that I, for once, am flustered. The situation that I am in, combined with my fascination and willingness for you would be something any man in your position will exploit but you stop me every day! And I know it is as much for my sanity as your own. Being moral and upright in this situation is something I have learnt from you.

In fact you give me the best of everything, care, fascination, fantasy and pure unadulterated love and that feeling of being cushioned I had almost forgotten to experience. To tell you the truth I never knew that YOU, loved me so much! And it gives my ego such a boost when I see your msgs flashing on my cell screen and you calling me in the middle of the night. A shiver of pleasure goes through my body when you call out my name, when you call me sweetheart! Its such a blessed joy! That’s why I love you NOW. 

Also you have made me realize rather remember what I am worth. During the last few years I had lost all my sense of worth now I know how to believe in myself, there is still time and I will definitely improve with you at my side. 

Now you are trapped man, trapped in my heart and soul. I keep saying that you have fallen head over heels in love with me ,to tell you the truth so have I. For some time to come I want to live in this dream and then I will make it a part of my life forever. I will internalize you somehow in my system. That piece of my heart you took away will now be replaced by you forever in my heart. Nobody needs to know that somewhere in my life someone touched me and made my WHOLE life worthwhile in such short time.Life is definitely worth living now! 

Finally I know who my soulmate is and I have to wait for him. I Didn’t actually believe in rebirth but now I want to even if it is just a consolation. Won’t let you leave in the next one. If the need be ill hug you tight and tell you in all the words in the world that I’ll die without you and want to go with you.

I love you because you have taught me what love is actually and the subtle difference between lust and love. With you I don’t feel shame, hesitation yes but shame no! and that is the best feeling. It makes me glow inside out.

One more thing although it is grossly wrong but you will have the truth today, I feel soooo good when you say that you love me more than you love anyone else. I know I can’t be possessive but you are mine in a way that nobody can define and now nobody can take you away from me. And this love that I feel can accommodate everyone else in your life. Now I know that I have a special place in your heart that nobody can take. You taught me that, that when you love someone your heart becomes eternally big ,another reason why I love you. 

They are tumbling out, the reasons. Maybe I am getting delirious with lack of sleep and today the lack of you is eating me. I want so much to reach out to you. Have never missed anyone so much in my life ever, but then never loved anyone so much and was never loved so much ! 

  

love you forever